Comments from God

[pphalan]

Alright, so you don't believe in me. (But what if you're wrong?)
God.

Don't forget your umbrella. I might water the plants today.
God.

Its not the end of the world. Not until I say so, anyway.
God.

If you missed the sunrise I made for you today, never mind. I'll make you another one tomorrow.
God.

How can you possibly be a self-made man? I specifically recall creating you.
God.

Nietzche is dead.
God.

I was thinking of making the world black and white. Then I thought Naaah.
God.

How can you call yourself a free thinker when you can't even accept the possibility of my existence?
God.

If you think Mona Lisa is stunning, you should look at my masterpiece. Look in the Mirror.
God.

Please don't drink and drive. You're not quite ready to meet me.
God.

When you're weary, feeling small. When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all. Simon and Garfunkel. Ditto.
God.

I think you're the most beautiful person in the world. OK, I'm biased.
God.

What do I have to do to get your attention? Take out an ad in the newspaper?
God.

Earthlings, don't treat me like an alien.
God.

Let's meet at my house Sunday before the game.
God

C'mon over and bring the kids.
God

What part of "Thou Shalt Not..." didn't you understand?
God

We need to talk.
God

Keep using my name in vain, I'll make rush hour longer.
God

Loved the wedding, invite me to the marriage.
God

That "Love Thy Neighbor" thing... I meant it.
God

I love you and you and you and you and...
God

Will the road you're on get you to my place?
God

Follow me.
God

Big bang theory, you've got to be kidding.
God

My way is the highway.
God

Need directions?
God

You think it's hot here?
God

Have you read my #1 best seller? There will be a test.
God

Do you have any idea where you're going?
God

Don't make me come down there.
God

[pphalan]

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer when all of a sudden he said aloud, "Lord grant me one wish". The sky clouded and a booming voice said, "Because you have tried to be faithful I will grant you one wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want to."

The Lord answered, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time to think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me".

The man thought for a long time and finally said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know what they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing', and how I can make a woman truly happy?"

After a few minutes God said, "How many lanes do you want on that bridge?"

[davidw]

hehe

[bluegirl777]

Those are both *very* good. :)

[too his glory]

:funny Thank you those are both good . I enjoyed them .

God bless you