Kids notes to God

[pphalan]

Letters To God

Dear God,
In Sunday School they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation? - Jane


Dear God,
I think about You sometimes even when I'm not praying. - Elliot


Dear God,
Did You really mean "do unto others as they do unto you?"
Because if you did, then I'm going to fix my brother. - Darla


Dear God,
I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday.
That was cool! - Eugene


Dear God,
I read the Bible. What does "begat" mean? Nobody will tell me. - Allison


Dear God,
Are you really invisible or is that a trick? - Lucy


Dear God,
Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house? - Anita


Dear God,
Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? - Norma


Dear God,
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones
You have now? - Cindy


Dear God,
Who draws the lines around countries? - Nan


Dear God,
The bad people laughed at Noah - "You made an ark on dry land you fool".
But he was smart, he stuck with You. That's what I would do. - Edward


Dear God,
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? - Neil


Dear God,
What does it mean You are a Jealous God? I thought You had everything. - Robert


Dear God,
Thank You for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy. - Joyce


Dear God,
Why is Sunday School on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest. - Tom

[pphalan]

Children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Christian school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
Someone had written a note and placed it next to the apples.
It read, "Take only one, God is watching."


Moving through the line, to the other end of the table, was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.


One little boy wrote his own note and snuck it next to the cookies,
"Take all you want, God is watching the apples."

[pphalan]

God the Parent

Whenever your kids are out of control,
you can take comfort from the thought that even God's
omnipotence did not extend to God's kids.
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.
And the first thing He said to them was: "Don't."


"Don't what?" Adam asked.


"Don't eat the Forbidden Fruit." God replied.


"Forbidden fruit? We got Forbidden Fruit?


Hey, Eve..we got Forbidden Fruit!"


"No way!"


"Where?"


"Don't eat that fruit!" said God.


"Why?"


"Because I am your Creator and I said so!" said God,
wondering why he hadn't stopped after making the elephants.


A few minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break and was angry.


"Didn't I tell you not to eat that fruit?" the 'First Parent' asked.


"Uh huh," Adam replied.


"Then why did you?"


"I dunno," Eve answered.


"She started it!" Adam said.


"Did not!"


"DID so!"


"DID NOT!"


Having had it with the two of them,
God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own...
thus the pattern was set, and it has never changed.

[pphalan]

And Finally.....

Notes From God

1) Let's Meet At My House Sunday Before the Game - God
2) C'mon Over And Bring The Kids - God
3) What Part of "Thou Shalt Not..." Didn't You Understand? - God
4) We Need To Talk - God
5) Keep Using My Name in Vain And I'll Make Rush Hour Longer! - God
6) Loved The Wedding, Invite Me To The Marriage - God
7) That "Love Thy Neighbour" Thing, I Meant It. - God
8) I Love You...I Love You...I Love You... - God
9) Will The Road You're On Get You To My Place? - God
10) Follow Me. - God
11) Big Bang Theory? You've Got To Be Kidding. - God
12) My Way Is The Highway. - God
13) Need Directions? - God
14) You Think It's Hot Here? - God
15) Tell The Kids I Love Them. - God
16) Need a Marriage Counselor? I'm Available. - God
17) Have You Read My #1 Best Seller? There Will Be A Test! - God

[davidw]

Those are all good :)

[bluegirl777]

I love this one -- "Dear God,
I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday.
That was cool! - Eugene"

Here are some more funnies: :dance

Great Truths from Small Children

No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
If your sister hits you, don't hit her back.
They always catch the second person.
Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.
Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.
Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.
School lunches stick to the wall.
You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandma's lap.
It's hard to unlearn a bad word.
Ask Why until you understand.
It's easier to see the mistakes on someone else's paper.
A pencil without an eraser may as well just be a pen.
It's only fun to play school when you're the teacher.
Sometimes the best one in the play has the fewest lines.
Twelve is a lot older than eight.
Sometimes your best move is blocked by your own checkers.
Some nights it's not worth fighting over who gets the top bunk.
Don't expect your friends to be as excited about your "100" as you are.
Don't say that the "Last One is a Rotten Egg" unless you're absolutely sure there's a slow kid behind you.
If you don't like the birthday girl, don't go to the party.
Crawling still gets you there.
If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.
Your room gets smaller as you get bigger.
You can't start over just because you're losing the game.
When you're dressed up like a princess, it's easier to act like one.
If a tree had apples last year, don't expect pears this year.
One drop of black paint from the brush clouds the whole cup of water.
You can't be everyone's best friend.
A snow day is more fun than a vacation day.
All libraries smell the same.
Say grace.
If you want someone to listen to you, whisper it.
Sometimes you have to take the test before you've finished studying.
Silence can be an answer.
Ask where things come from.
If you throw a ball at someone, they'll probably throw it back.
Don't nod on the phone.

[too his glory]

pphalan,

You take the cake, they are very good.

God bless you