The Atheist Teacher

[pphalan]

The Atheist Teacher

A young woman teacher with obvious liberal tendencies explains to her class of small children that she is an atheist. She asks her class if they are atheists too. Not really knowing what atheism is but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks.
There is, however, one exception. A beautiful girl named Lucy has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not an atheist."

Then, asks the teacher, what are you?

"I'm a Christian." says Lucy.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Lucy why she is a Christian. "Well, I was brought up knowing and loving Jesus. My mom is a Christian, and my dad is a Christian, so I am a Christian."

The teacher is now agitated. "That's no reason," she says forcefully. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"

A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Lucy, "I'd be an atheist."

[pphalan]

Just A Second

A young man once asked God how long a million years was to him.

God replied, "A million years to me is just like a single second to you."

The young man asked God what a million dollars was to him.

God replied, "A million dollars to me is just like a single penny to you."

Then the young man got his courage up and asked, "God, could I have one of your pennies?"

God smiled and replies, "Certainly, just a second."

[davidw]

lol

[jmebonner]

:lol: at #2 especially.

A rich man is on his death bed and is visited by God. God says "Jim, you're going to die soon, as a very rich man you will be disappointed to know that you won't be able to bring any of your belongings to heaven with you"

The man begs and pleads and pleads and cries and whines, etc, etc. Finally God says "Okay Jim, you may bring ONE suitcase with whatever you desire and that is all.

The next day the man has a friend cash in all his stocks, bonds, mutual funds, savings bonds, etc. He has him buy the largest suitcase possible and has him buy gold bars with all the money he's cashed out. The man then has the gold bars packed as tightly as possible into the suitcase and put under his hospital bed so it will be ready to take with him when he dies.

The next day Jim dies. When he gets to the pearly gates and St. Peter asks to look in the suitcase. Jim proudly unzips it to show Peter what's inside. Peter gets a confused look on his face and says "Of all the things you could bring, you bring asphalt?!?!?!" Rev: 21:21 :)

[johnathon]

lol